April 16, 2010
Since I can not go to Sewell (Murcia), the prize-giving ceremony Jara Carrillo, of which I have been runners, organizers have asked me to send them some pictures and a speech apologizing for my absence, to be read during the ceremony (the ceremony, you understand). I have sent this: Dear
alcantarillanos, authorities
Majesty ... Sorry I can not attend the awards contest Jara Carrillo humor. What else wanted me, I assure you. But is that for some time I am retained. Or rather, kidnapped. Indeed, year or so ago I was, so calm, walking in the Arabian Peninsula, Yemen Yemen North to South, minding my own business, when suddenly came a few guys with turbans, hijab, slippers and Kalashnikov, kindly took me arm and locked in this dark cave from which to write. As I have said, I'm kidnapped.
"Oh, man I cried when they told me," there was no closer. These things, of course, only happen to me.
My captors have called for my rescue half a million euros. When I relayed the request to my family, they said, "Yeah, man, for that price we bought a plasma TV, which company makes home "and ignore me. My captors came then to the English Government, and this, through diplomatic channels, he has sent a clear and forceful response, "the Greens have sega" said the minister, and left me to my fate.
the end I agreed with my captors: "I submit to Jara Carrillo, and won the prize money pay my ransom." "Okay" they said. And I went to the last issue, but as my kidnappers had no Western computers, I had to write my text in Arabic and was refused. "It must be in Arial 12, must be in Arial 12. Damn, what people most maniacal and unsympathetic. " This year, I have provided a Western computer and there you have it, I am not winning, but a finalist. Although, to my surprise, it appears that the end is not prize money. Dear
alcantarillanos, gentlemen of the jury. For this year's pass, but the next, please give me the award and seek, above all, the economic pillar. You can not imagine how boring it is to be here, with people from Al Qaeda. These guys have very little conversation, and also give me to eat only dates and water, with what I have constipation at this point that will give me something.
Remember my name, please, and gestiónenme first prize next year.
Signature: An experienced writer and kidnapped
Hope you like it. Anyway, I think it was bad idea to put my full data in escrow. Now the entire corporation alcantarillana know where I live.
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